"These are the sentences I pop off with that I authorize being known for saying for I am to blame for saying them in the first place. You can quote me on that!" ~L.G. Flores
So I say a lot of things, communicating is my thing. Not everything I say I want remembered. It's those doozies that packed a wallop, or showed the teacher I learned my lessons.
These words strung together, I'd like to be remembered for saying them, if at least by my kids, and their kids', kids. If it helps bridge for a connection through the generations, I'd like to put my two cents in change, that leaves behind two more for my eyes when it comes time for me to die.
I don't know how or when I will, but what I say now that for them will be "back then..." I can make the effort to be wise, and think ahead. I can think up a squille nut zipper stash to leave behind before I'm dead.
For you my kiddos, thank you for your time in reading, and you're welcome if anything I said was helpful. Now Play It Forward. *smiles*
"All my past can do is help me now." ~2013
(It was part of the personal break down to "Let Go and Let God". I have been finalizing my past, letting go of the upset and moving on from EVERYTHING that doesn't do anything for me anymore. I feel that sums up my acceptance that I can look back to learn, but my focus should be on progress. I'm done with feeling hurt by old news that good news should trump, for how blessed I have been otherwise. The past is not at fault for what my stubbornness is to blame. I was stuck, now I'm not. This was the thought that confirmed I'm getting over "it" all.)
"If I wanted convenience, I would have never been born." ~2002
(I first thought this around the time of my 1st mental breakdown. I was really depressed and contemplated my mortality often, to where it just seemed like a constant, looming, overbearing sadness that was killing me slowly anyway. I would spend all my shift at work, in silent contemplation, giving myself pep talks where I debate what I feel and reason against myself what I must, to hold on just a little while longer.
It was true.
If my spirit wasn't determined to be alive, it wouldn't have made itself known at the moment of my conception. I knew long before I could think that life was going to be hard and dangerous, but still worth exploring for the sake of the experience and adventure. These words helped ground me. I'd like to pass them down over if it can help distract someone long enough to think their way out of their temporary dilemma. That's what it really all is, if you want it to be. Think about it.)
02-01-2014 7:06:50
Social Distortion “When She Begins”
Wednesday January 2013
"Often I have wondered where I’m supposed to be when I finally grow up. I found out I couldn’t exactly choose when, it’s an epiphany sort of thing or perhaps a bitch slap. Yes I am still asking even if I was supposed to be past this phase in life, but it’s okay; I have the rest of my life to figure who the fuck I am."
(What?)
02-01-2014 7:31:22
Comment posted by:GINA-N-TONIC
Posted on: Wed Apr 3 2013 11:21:13
"Question #1: What do I hope would happen?
Question #2: What do I want to happen?
Question #3: What do I fear would happen?
Question #4: What can be the compromise?
Question #5: What is most realistic?
Question #6: Why haven't I freaked out yet?"
(This question formula has come in handy a few times.)
"Am I okay? I'm okay. Okay." ~2011
(Las Encinas February 2011 -- I was sharing a tip on how to calm yourself down. Young gal, like 19yrs old, was in a very tense state. I got her to play a little being it was her birthday. The tension returned and I recall her being sent to a different lock down unit. I recall hearing her screams and the fight she put up against the orderlies. I don't know why she was so tense, but it made her snap. I hope she's gotten past this, and has no reason to return back to the Loonie Bin. But if she must, may she get the help she needs to balance back to okay.)
"Whachale, you're an art student. You're one step closer to becoming Hitler." ~2013
(It's true. Sometimes in pursuit of expression, we may become little asshole dictators thinking we know the "right" way to look at things, and the rest of the world needs enlightenment. It becomes the birth of a counter dogma, and that just ain't right y'all.)
"I didn't fall in love; I fell off my ass in love." ~2005
(It's true, There were those flukes that struck me stooopid!!!)
"I recall I was willing to be his knight in a beat up armor, from having my mettle tested by his defenses." ~2013
(From "Words not told to say what is the start to a new 5 yr plan" I was quietly reasoning with myself, and ended up pointing out how much I was willing to take on in my formally blind adoration. It spoke of a poetic role reversal, that I imagine is not an idea many men would take too kindly to. In any case like I said, formally blind adoration.)
"I don't have to be the best, just as long as I am memorable." ~2003
(My take on my intimate performances initially, then on a job well done in general. *smiles*)