Going In The Direction Of A Stroll
Press Play To Listen To Roger Hodgson (From Supertramp) "The Logical Song" For The Soundtrack
Something I read recently about a woman my age said on POF that left me thinking. She said something to the degree of looking for a man that knows where he's going in life and knows what he wants. I agree that's important.
I imagine she had an experience or several, where she met men she felt weren't going towards where she saw herself being. That makes me wonder what that means to me.
I'm a philosopher by nature. I ponder things deeply and notions occur to me that there is this thought process that leads up to realizations and yet it's underestimated as important.
I can see myself meeting someone where we explore the little things, big things, silly ones, serious, and in the end, insightful of our self-perception.
I think I'd enjoy going in the direction of a stroll where we aren't trying to impress each other though we may impress ourselves for our deep thoughts making sense to the other and what could be complicated wasn't.
I'd like that easy-going vibe where I'm not judging if the great mind I'm meeting in the middle with me, is being true to itself and shares its truth.
I feel most have a solid grasp of knowing they survived. I understand that when we stop allowing ourselves to be measured by what we've been programmed to believe are standards confused with worthwhileness of just being; we all shine in our own way.
The 'simple man' that I may find myself with the pleasure of interacting with I hope knows I don't care what others have to show for their age if there's no wisdom that learned from 'mistakes'.
It's not a 'mistake' to grow from a life learning lesson meant to teach us a better understanding of ourselves. Knowing some of the factors involved, I got a sweet, gentle and playful smile wondering if I'll get my wish to meet someone that's sweet, awkward even.
A man that's expressive but not with arrogance and an egocentricity that I don't get past. I'm looking for someone like me that can find Mr. Roger's Neighborhood is profound but the collegiate snark of certificates given by those with certificates, given by those with certificates, believe they are but at times not enough.
Being I seek a kindred spirit that would appreciate where I come from isn't from nowhere, would consider me worthwhile with my humble background and challenges; chances are they do from it possibly mirroring their own life.
I imagine they would be the same, us relating to knowing the struggle of having clarity in who we are to ourselves as we adapted to the treatment that helped form our psyche.
I see a fellow headcase with a past they overcame and they most likely are sober like me because like me they self-medicated their emotional pain to beg for numbness at the cost of our health.
I see him focused on healing himself like I am as well. He's the type that speaks in affirmations also. He knows what the term "self-care" means and would understand when that's affected, it's time to step back and reprioritize.
I see my unicorn unsure of himself at times from feeling he doesn't measure up to other men in our age group. If I cared about those other men, I'd go out with them, but I rather date the butterfly with roughed up wings over the mighty eagle tearing things apart with its claws.
I hope if we cross paths, they can sense my sincerity in wanting a true blue good friendship where it becomes the trusted foundation to build on.
That to me makes more sense than to feel I can accept someone that doesn't stop to check in with themselves.
Not that I'm seeing someone codependent is coming into my life but I'd like to pair up with someone that has been healing their codependency if it was a problem in the past, and we'd be each other's test of how much have we learned our lesson?
I figure if we know how it hurt us and the others involved, and we see how we've grown as individuals reclaiming an independent identity away from our formers, we would recognise the signs early on and have a very open, non-defensive, dialog, we can raise our chances of staying together for the long haul.
Another reason I'd like someone that is manifesting their success through being balanced in all they do, I did think about it. I deliberated it. I daydreamed dramatizations. I explored how I felt and came back to the same conclusion as I had before I invested further time determining what in the heck it is I want for myself in life.
I'd like to meet up with my romantic true love soul mate as we're both still figuring ourselves out and applying our life lessons in our everyday self-care that includes nurturing our sense of spirit.
And since I'm at the ground level of building my own fortune at my pace and within my limitations that I may not overcome all, but it doesn't mean I can't get resourceful with my God-given talents. If he's getting his finances in order I have no reason to judge because I'm working on my own.
But thinking of how two with little double what they have shared with each other, I may find my George Burns to be his Gracie Allen to and us take the Metro to visit their intersection in Hollywood and take our first promo picture as cooking show co-hosts where the formula is:
We're poor but we're not hungry. And the food we eat may be cheap, but not in quality. We don't sacrifice taste as we eat on a budget that tends to be healthier; and far from boring.
We'd play on the whole, we're pretty decided on the other being who we want to be with, so it's getting to know each other over cooking one meal together at a time. I'd like to show off our chemistry clicking that we may be remembered as a couple of legend like George and Gracie.
And since I'm standing my ground in wanting to only date a fellow single parent, we'd make family friendly meals that adapt to little kid palates that may not be adventurous right away but can be convinced to try something new that THEY helped cook.
I suppose I'm looking for a fellow early 40 something year old to be post crash and burn and moving on rebound buddies with since my gut tells me the guy I'm meant to be with has been put down over not being rich with a fancy house, a fancy car, and a large checking and savings account.
I feel he's been over thinking he must have these things to feel he's a good man that can provide for his family and shut out love feeling he can't be worth loving if he wasn't well off.
A guy with a mindset like that would fall in the workaholic trap that I think I'd remind him that living below his means can afford more time to be a family spending quality time together, since I'm looking to rebuild my own.
I rather us get rich together as a rebounding team getting proactive on our experience and whatever memories of feeling we aren't good enough because of others rejecting us; feeling anxiety wondering who would love us as we are; are behind us because we found our answer after we found each other and knew it well after one long walk with a candid conversation.
We were meant to be late bloomer sweethearts together. I hope his ego can accept two heads working together is better than just one.
Sometimes I can picture clearly being