Go Long! Like Very, Very...
October 3, 2013
"The Theory"
8:02am
The Lighthouse/My apartment
Boyle Heights, CA
The journey to lighten the load continues...
I have therapy later today, I think. I'm not sure what time but I may ask for a phone session because I should sleep and not be out taking trains and buses while I feel a bit out of it. I'm fine now, yawning so I think I could sleep soon enough...
I want to tell my doctor about the the apostrophe I had (that's epiphany for you that never seen "Hook" with Robin Williams). My relationships with men need to evolve, especially when it comes to Eros ' arrows and Limerence explaining what went on.
(Link Coming Soon)
Dream a little dream of me…
By L.G. Flores
Frank Sinatra
“I get a kick out of you”
1/29/2013 11:19pm
Today was good though I’ve been up since a bit passed four in the morning. I wasn’t able to sleep much; I was worried I’d over sleep and miss my appointment. I had a dream that was full of symbolism I did my best to make sense of.
This time it was about Gladys, the waitress from D*nny’s off Imperial where Mikey and the guys go to sober up after drinking and shooting pool over at The Iron Horse Shoe… This wasn’t the first time I’ve dream of a Pauley’s character…
Isham Jones
“It had to be you”
I have seen Pauley himself. He was the captain of a boat that was going down the rivers that were once the freeways of Downtown LA. It was nice seeing waterfalls over the over passes. What I found strange was that he only gave us on the boat a couple seconds warning we were going to go underwater. I thought of the children on board before I took a deep breath that I thought I was going to let go and swallow water. Something that gives me anxiety in real life which is why I don’t swim.
(Link Coming Soon)
"Well Don't That Just Be Jivin'"
Saturday June 14, 2014
DTP/MLH--ELA/CA
By L.G. Flores
Well don't that just be jivin' and keen to fucking swell! I may have found a new connect to help me spread the word in Texas, I'm really touched my friend believes in me and what I'm doing with this recycled daydream, to offer to help me blanket the scene there.
I got my list of things to do step by step, more or less; so I may not be able to create an ad to pass around on FB, etc. for a while. I know I want to become not just associates with my local printer, but buddies where they are not just on my Holiday greetings mailing list, but I bring them home made cookies or tamales!
That has actually been on my mind for a while. I'm comparison shopping printers, from their prices to selection options. There is this one poster I want to have made of my ass looking like a heart by how I'm bent over, and have a target placed on my butt cheek that says "Where Y'all Can Kiss Meh!" I figure I can slang my ass more effectively that way, and not actually have to do anything yucky, eeeeeew! I figure the male troops and females that pitch for the other team, may get a kick out of it, that so reads like a pun hee hee...
(Link Coming Soon)
(October 18, 2012)
“The Great Debate… “
By L.G. Flores
11:15 pm
So here I am, at it again, something more to contribute. I am faced once again by choice, going back to school. Abby if you don’t know her, but she’s a sweetie on here and is friendly to everyone; she starts school Monday. I texted with her for a bit, and she is nervous about that test. I gave her the best tips I could give and wished her the luck she asked for. Now she got me thinking. Should I enroll myself back and do the school thang?
I already took I forget what the fuck it’s called, but I think some sort of entry exam for college. For being rusty with a GED I got back when I was 17 yrs old, I passed. I guess the shrink that did my I.Q. test for the run around to qualify for SSDI benefits; he asked me why I am not in school.
According to him, I got potential to earn a Master’s or higher. That was kind of him to say, especially when he let me know the drugs I’ve done have slowed me down but I can still go for gold if I really wanted to. This is where my own Great Debate conversation with myself starts.
(Link Coming Soon)
"I Wonder..."
Part I
The Hot Crazy Matrix
Click On Link To Watch What Got Me Typing A Day Away
And The Date To Remember is
August 25, 2014
"I Wonder..."
Part II
The Hot Crazy Matrix
Click On Link To Refresh Why I'm Rambling In Good Balanced Spirits
By L.G.Flores
Hey you’re back!
Now to continue... I have experience being the cool chick guys talk with that say to me what they can't say to other guys, their families or even their own girlfriends/wives, like the time I had to reassure a friend that his junk was not small. That's one of the stories that went away when I deleted my RW account.
(Link Coming Soon)
"I Wonder..."
Part III
The Hot Crazy Matrix
Click On Link If You Want To Refresh For This Final Installment To Focus Away The Control Of Past Disappointments
By L.G. Flores
This is what I want to finish with: Furby affected me and I survived, but the habits of desperation didn't all go away. They repeated with Spooner after extremes caused distortion and I wasn't thinking clearly. I convinced myself I was perfect for him, again, it was all about a "him".
It took another person to introduce a concept that would lead me towards more emotional balance and freedom from the longing and pinning that has helped with writing, but I wasn't living my life out of grief because I felt a loss.
For some desperate reason I really wanted him to be in to me, like that would improve my life, make my problems feel less shitty, be a comfort I trust. Someone I was curious about being in very close proximity with.
It was unlikely with him due to distance but crazy me then thought I could fix that. How, I wasn't sure, but I had an iron strong will to move mountains in my head. I wasn't asked to, but I was willing after the dust settled on my end, because he was a better alternative to the men I had been committed to, or were having sex with and I wasn't attracted, but did it anyways.
I didn't really know him even after 2+ yrs, so I was able to turn him in to whatever suited me or my issue of the day because I was that out of it. What I was told that put it in to perspective was "He's not the only option you have."
And when I did meet a different option, I wasn't grieving what got played up in my head. It was short lived, but it was proven I could have eyes for other men again.
My crazy bitch friend that is kicking ass being a co-parent with her ex, so their kids could feel security in knowing they have both their parents with them; she came up with a great one about women and how they attach themselves to dysfunctional situations. She said:
"We're in love with the men we want to create."
And it didn't take long to sink in.